Written by BBC

The Gaviria Cabinet, locked in a prolonged war against the Medellin Cartel, is becoming more and more desperate to stop the drug lords. It would be a tragedy if, in their ambitions against the cartel, they quenched the freedom of the very citizens they are protecting.

Two recent events have thrown the Cabinet into a panic, and prompted some of its members to come to irrational conclusions. A herd of hypnotized hippos has been terrorizing the country. Additionally, a shipment of cocaine was found in a truck from a local clothing brand called “Supremo.” The solutions the cabinet came to for these problems was at best unconventional, and at worst authoritarian.

Mexican Ambassador to Colombia Arnulfo Guillermo Rincón proposed that the government round up the hippos and put them in a zoo. Gen Miguel Maza Marquez, however, thought it would be wiser to use the hippos as food while Minister of Defence Rafael Pardo Rueda claimed the best way to deal with them would simply be to put them somewhere else. The committee consensus, however, seemed to be that shooting the hippos would be the best course of action. Notably, none of the Members of the committee seemed terribly concerned with why the hippos were hypnotized in the first place. Concerning the clothing brand, “Supremo,” CIA Station Chief Jim Campbell proposed that the committee ban citizens from wearing the brand. No one spoke against that opinion.

Though it may be hard for the Gaviro cabinet to tell in the midst of this national crisis, it is generally frowned upon to have armed groups of police officers or, worse, military roaming the streets gunning down endangered species. It is also problematic that the cabinet seems open to the idea of banning a piece of clothing because of one incident outside of the country with a drug cartel. Asked if there was any connection between the clothing brand has any association with the cartel visually, Mayor of Medellín Omar Flórez Vélez was certain it did not.

Considering Gavaria is a vocal proponent of democracy and a member of his country’s Liberal party, it is shocking that he would allow members of his cabinet to propose such autocratic solutions. Equally shocking, is the fact members of his cabinet would spend more time discussing the nutritional value of the Hippos than discuss who was behind their hypnotism. Citizens should be sure to reach out to their local representative if any of this seems shocking to them as well.