By Arameh Vartomian

On Thursday October 21 st , the United Nations (UN) authorities discovered LSD in the Security Council!!! The illegal substance was being carried by the USSR’s delegate to the UN Security Council. The USSR delegate in his defense accused the United States for developing the substance in their country. The delegate from the People’s Republic of China wanted to follow up the matter by motioning for a debate on “the character of the USSR delegation.” This motion was defeated on the floor.

The UN authorities did not take any decisive action against the delegation but vowed to send the information to the country, if a similar illegal action is taken by any other delegation in the future.

The delegates moved from the topic to nuclear weapon proliferation. The United States delegation condemned the USSR for providing nuclear technology to its Warsaw Pact Allies. French delegation echoed the sentiment. USSR in defense argued that this technology is not being provided for proliferating weapons of mass destruction but for civilian energy use purposes. The delegation took the opportunity to brag about its commitment to its allies.

On a similar development France urged the Security Council members to accept its solution for helping the countries’ by solar energy -- which France would provide -- arguing that “if you don’t take it, you’re either not very smart or you have devious intentions.”

These developments are all taking place in a time that the Arab-Israeli conflict has dragged into a brutal bloodshed and the Chilean front has evolved into a brutal stand-off against militias opposing and supporting the regime, according to the senior official who did not want to be identified. It is worth noting that this committee’s prime goal was to find a solution for the Arab-Israeli conflict and the Chilean coup d’etat.