At the start of Day 3, Capitol Records is hard at work to maintain their high-standing reputation.

Within nearly the first 20 minutes of committee, the delegation passed four directives tackling a variety of content. These decisions will go into effect immediately, and have already produced results in favor of Capitol Records.

Recently, it was discovered that money from Capitol Records had been leaked to Napster, a file sharing and downloading site. This has unfortunately undermined some of their sales. “Trump the Leak” was passed to sue Napster for the stolen money. The directive also extends to future leaks, declaring that punishment will include repaying the company depending on whoever is found responsible.

The committee also passed a directive titled “Stop Nap(ster)ing, Start Working” in efforts to root out board members who may have leaked the money. This order will launch a full investigation into the leak at all costs.

“You’ve Got a Friend in Me” was finally passed after being renegotiated several times. This directive works on a partnership with Apple, making several Capitol Records songs available on the iPod. There are rumors of a possible merging in the future between these two corporations.

Lastly, the directive “C-Lo Later” outlines performance royalties for Cee-Lo Green. This includes royalties for all performances, commercials, and promotions. Plus, the star will be featured on the hit TV show, Yo Mama.

These directives come at a great cost, including increased royalty costs and money toward lengthy investigations. To counter these losses, board members are brainstorming ideas to increase profits. Among them include a collaboration between Kanye West and Paul McCartney in hopes that their two fanbases will collide and yield great results.


At this rate, Capitol Records is on its way to ultimate success. As one of the dias members noted, “these delegates are not playin’!”